Transparency NEEDED

I have been spending a lot of my quiet time reading about TRANSPARENCY in our Christian journey. I have learned quite a bit, but I have mostly learned that it is one of the most essential elements to our complete freedom….and that most people (even myself) have a serious battle with being transparent.

You can only worry about you. Be real- by that I mean, be transparent

trans·par·ent [trans-pair-uhnt, -par-]  Show IPA


1.having the property of transmitting rays of light through itssubstance so that bodies situated beyond or behind can bedistinctly seen.
2.admitting the passage of light through interstices. sheer as to permit light to pass through; diaphanous.
4.easily seen through, recognized, or detected: transparentexcuses.
5.manifest; obvious: a story with a transparent plot.; frank; candid: the man’s transparent earnestness.
7.Computers . (of a process or software) operating in such away as to not be perceived by users.
8.Obsolete . shining through, as light.
(thank you
Here’s a great link and article- be sure to read it, super good.

All on its Own

I have been wanting to announce it here but wanted this announcement to be all on its own- nothing else to clog up the blog. so here goes:

Kathleen is getting married August 20th! seems like old news to some, but it still is so exciting to me everytime I think about it. For her to have found the one fella who loves her through and through- and she is so deserving. And that fella- he’s pretty swell to have landed a gal like Kat.  They are coming to visit so we can dote on them 🙂 yay in just a week WOO HOOO!!!!

Saw some pictures of dresses she likes via email, thank the Lord for the people who invented the internet. They look beautiful and it made me get a little misty. Its a big deal to sign your life up with another name different from the one you have had your whole life to that point. And for a woman- to depend on a man to be HER man, thats a whole nother level of “big deal”. I am so happy for her and John. It truly is special and it will certainly be a special celebration on August 20th, 2011. Not to rush it, but we need some more grand kids on the Speier side! ha ha


to all of the single folk reading along- dont say to yourself, “oh another person has found the love of their life, but not me” and feel down. Trust me- I may only have 5 years under my belt in this whole marriage thing, but it is SERIOUSLY not something to rush. Let it happen on its own time (God;s Time). Its not something you want to mess up.  Plus, being single can be a wonderful time of finding out who you are….and you need to know YOU before you can promise YOU to another person 🙂 Be happy for those who have found it and know you will too.

Private pooper

you’re liking my catchy blog title arent you? ha ha. although I am a private pooper, being pregnant taught me to get over myself so I am no longer. After all what privacy and/or dignity do you have left after you have a kid? lol

NO- my blog title is not about me. Its about Otter. He’s a private pooper. I have been walking him in the mornings and some evenings to get out of the house and have some (for real) alone time. I often take a cup of coffee with me and make sure I finish it before I come back. THat way I am fueled and ready ha ha. Back to Otter- he is such a great dog. I do not know how we are ever going to replace him. It makes me sad that dogs dont live as long as us. Especially when you have one like O-boy (what we call him sometimes) or Bo Bo (thats what Ana Claire calls him).

On our walks I have found a spot that he is sure to drop his load everytime. He has a couple places, but this is our place. Its in some thick brush and trees, high weeds and sticks. Well tonight, I wanted to see if i was correct in that Otter was a private pooper- so I stayed in open areas. Well friends, he refused to go until he couldnt bear it. I caved in a stopped near the bushes and tall tree in front of our door. In order to get the MOST private spot he pulled me deep into the bush as he was attempting to find the spot. It made me laugh as he nestled in and turned around to face outward…always in “watch dog” mode. ha ha. SO yes, Otter is a private pooper, and it made me smile today.


Since the kiddos have been sleeping, and even though Jason is home, I am feeling a little sad tonight. Not depressed, not crying sad, just like “reality hit me that life is happening” sad. I have been praying that God would help me to daily value each moment as if it was the last moment I had….I guess its working! Its so easy for me to understand now when you hear an elder person say, “you wake up and youre kids are grown and youre old”. At the same time its hard for me to imagine Ana being 5, Lexi being 2…..and this is in the mere future!  This kind of feeling makes me want to hold Ana or Lexi (or both) all night long even if it means I fall asleep in the recliner or rocking chair. I just dont want to let go of these memories so quickly….

I always seem to find a song that correlates with how I am feeling or what I am reading that day. Here is todays- its super good… The lyrics are below. Its a great song, way to Go Taylor Swift.


Ok thats it for today. Love to you all 🙂


Never Grow Up lyrics
Songwriters: Swift, Taylor;

Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it’s so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter ’cause you’re dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you, everything’s funny
You got nothing to regret
I’d give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

I won’t let nobody hurt you
Won’t let no one break your heart
No, no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You’re in the car on the way to the movies
And you’re mortified your mom’s dropping you off
At 14, there’s just so much you can’t do
And you can’t wait to move out someday and call your own shots

But don’t make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she’s getting older, too
And don’t lose the way that you dance around
In your PJs getting ready for school

Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

No one’s ever burned you
Nothing’s ever left you scarred
And even though you want to
Just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother’s favorite songs

I just realized everything I have
Is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It’s so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I’d never grown up
I wish I’d never grown up

Oh, I don’t wanna grow up, wish I’d never grown up
Could still be little
Oh, I don’t wanna grow up, wish I’d never grown up
It could still be simple

Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don’t you ever grow up, don’t you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

Won’t let nobody hurt you
Won’t let no one break your heart
And even through to you want to
Please try to never grow up

Don’t you ever grow up
(Never grow up)
Just never grow up

Dedicated unto the Lord!

Today was a glorious day. We dedicated Alexis Rose and Anastasia Claire Speier to the LORD! YAY! And we also did a family dedication in front of our church body to serve Him and live a life that serves him. It was so amazing. Pastor Bruce Frank prayed and grammy Papa auntie rach and uncle caleb were there to celebrate. The church also gave them each a bible and a certificate for framing, and another book called “the prayer that makes God smile”. super cute.

just heard a song- also wasy say a prayer when i hear it, but today it was so special to me to pray it for our family seeing as how it was a “praying for the family” sorta day. Its by Santus Real, LEAD ME. Heres a link to it-
In case you dont get a chance to click on the link, here are the lyrics-

look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying…

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They’re just children from the outside
I’m working hard, I tell myself they’ll be fine
They’re independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying…

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can’t
Don’t leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you’re willing to fight
That I’m still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I’m called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won’t You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can’t
Don’t want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I’ll show them I’m willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone

Father, lead me, ’cause I can’t do this alone


Obviously this prayer is a lot for Jason- as the blessing trickles down from the head of the home. I like the way God designed it 🙂 And we are blessed with a man like Jason.

I have plenty of other not so important things I could say, but I dont think I want to take any attention away from what is already written. This blog is complete!

Hello Jello

no im not eating Jello, although i bet you thought i was based on my blog title!

Haha ha tricked you…No here is yet another blog entry from someone who is just rambling in order to get some adult interaction 🙂

I almost titled this blog , “kids in a cadillac” because thats what I do….i drive my kids around in a cadillac. I think its kind of an oxymoron. But I am learning that a little armorall and leather cleaner can do wonders, as Ana and I did clean the inside of it out yesterday. We gave our van to my family to use as a trade in cause they needed a vehicle with 4wd or awd and not a car like the cadi. Lucky us, it rides smooth and has great great comfort all around.  I just cant help but feel like I am fooling all who make “snap judgements” about our family. Ha ha. NO WAY we could ever get a cadi, especially not at this point of our lives. BUT I am learning that this is what people do- put on “an expensive coat” and have sweat pants on underneath cause no one can see them. Does that make sense? I dont know that it is intentially done by so many of us though….maybe someone who needs to be admired for prestige….however i do think that the “snap judgements” are whats incorrect here.  Either way, life is happening for all of us so differently, how can we honestly say, “whoa they are well off, they drive a cadi” or “man they are really spoiled- she is reading her NOOK and driving a cadi with 2 kids under 2!”

All of this to say- I am spoiled. Have been for a while, just dont like to say it. We have had such favor shown to us in our lives individually and together (jason myself and the girls). We have very generous family, friends, neighbors (except the folks upstairs lol), church family, etc. Above all that, God is Good and that is the TRUTH.

So I guess you picked up on my little hint….JASON GOT ME A NOOK FOR VALENTINES DAY!!!!  I was so scared that it would be something that I would not use very much….but that is why he got me a nook and not a kindle. THe Nook COLOR has wifi and you can get other apps. SWEET. I have been reading books to the girls, for myself, checking email and facebook, etc. Its AWESOME. I highly recommend one! Remember its NOOK COLOR, not kindle 🙂

In other SPEIER news, we took some pictures today of the girls because they are getting dedicated on Sunday Feb 20th at Biltmore Baptist church at 11am SHARP. The church has a VERY LARGE (3 to be exact) high def screens that will post a picture of them up on it, so we wanted to get some good ones. Ga Ga (grammy) got them some cute dresses (cause shopping is her thing for sure) and they looked ADORABLE. I posted most on facebook, check it out. Had toruble posting here…shockwave crash or something. Anywhoo- these may be called Easter pictures too, since they are in their dresses that may be worn on Easter.

Ok kiddos crying, its is only nap time. See ya next entry.

blog from someone who doesnt blog

my new years resolution to blog in 2010 obviously failed- I thin i blogged a little more than a dozen times. thats ok though- i said in the beginning that i wasnt a blogger and that i didnt even know what they were for except keeping in touch and maybe making money if you are a good writer.

Anywhoo- i am not closing down the blog cause it is a great way to relieve some stress, talk to someone other than myself and my kids while J is working, etc.

Whats on my mind tonight? a lot of random things. 1. first time in 3+ years I have been in a tanning bed. and i probably wouldnt have done it if my sis didnt manage tan universe. lol. But it was fun- I was in a non burning bed for maybe 10 minutes….yes im red. not LOBSTER but definitely red in those areas that dont see the light of day that often. ha ha. Lesson I learned though- do not fart in the tanning bed. For heavens sake, get out of it, let it go, then get back in. It saves you a lot of hot air circulating grief. ha ha ha. I have often said that being transparent about things is something we need a lot more of in the world, you know that thing called honesty? Yeah, well there it is folks. ha ha

2. my dad is a wise man. sometimes he says things that i brush off initially, but i find myself hearing his words in my head long after, and that they are true. i do believe that God structured the family perfectly. I can look back at so many times when I have reluctantly asked mom and dad advice and now say that it was wise to ask them.

3. Ana is learning to pray! its so funny I didnt really know how to go about telling her about God and JEsus and such. So i started paying attention to how I introduce new cartoons, foods, words, books, etc. I found that I just tell her what it is in simple terms and keep repeat it to her each time we revisit whatever it is. So, I started doing that even thought it still seemed so intimidating…to put God and Jesus in simple terms. Of course I pray all the while asking God to show himself to her and that she would know Him…and i Know she will. 🙂  Anyway, we prayed tonight for all the family she has ever met (ha ha) and all the animals we have ever seen (yes we did). She loves it! And you know, when we are in church and everyone bows their head to pray she gets and excited face like, “i know what we are doing mom!!!” so cute. 🙂

4. Lexi is  big skinny girl. Looked it up today in Ana’s baby book- Lexi is about an inch longer than Ana was at this age, but Ana had 3 lbs on her. ha ha. Ana was by no means a chunky baby though- she was in the 99% for height and still is up there on the chart. But Lexi, she is even skinnier than Ana was. Doesnt make good for baby clothes buying- shes in a 9 months and swiftly passing that up. But she is so skinny things are fallin off her shoulders! Silly gal. Oh and her arm length is a problem too. Ana as well- beautiful and sweet babies.

5. Shutterfly does an amazing job at making photo books! We made one just to  I am positive we are going to make ana a story book with her and the main character. I am really pumped cause I am going to write the story and Jason is going to get the pictures. IT will be such a great keepsake!

6 and final. Goodwill, consignment, and thrift is AWESOME. THanks to whomever thought up these stores. I love them. Got some great finds this week at Goodwill. LOVE IT.

alrighty, im off. love to you all, especially those that made it this far in reading this mess. 🙂