Transparency-wise counsel

Goodness I dont know what is up with my thoughts the last few days, but I apologize if they have seemed like senseless rants. If I were trying to say them verbally I may use less words making it less confusing….(although I am sure my husband would beg to differ lol).

Somewhat related to yesterdays post I cam across some things today that intrigued me.
Yesterday I witnessed someone get really defensive and upset when they were faced with the fact that they are not enough on their own. They claimed to be the ultimate source of knowledge in a particular area and got angry when criticized about the falsities in their statements. It made me never to want to be that way, and stirred up in me an even stronger desire to absorb wise counsel in my life.
—The key in accepting Christ and becoming a new creation is admitting that you cannot do it on your own and vowing to trust the God can “complete you” and follow through where you come up short (Christ is the atonement for our sin). IN essence, God wants us to admit to him AND OTHERS that we are imperfect and NEED Him (in order to become anything except a schmuck. I hope that is not too crass to say).
—In AA and NA the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, that you are not enough on your own to fix it.
These are just two quick examples I thought of to help illustrate my point-  the key in becoming wise, growing as a person, and becoming who you ultimately want to be is to admit you cannot do it on your own.  Proverbs 15:22 says without counsel plans will fail- because we are not wired to do this thing alone! What about that old saying, “two heads are better than one”? What a FOOL to think that your own thoughts alone are enough to get you through! Or not being able to take constructive criticism- FOOLISH!

Realizing that all these people- your friends, family, work associates, church family, doctors, counselors, authors, etc- are placed here for each of us to gain knowledge and wisdom from is a huge burden lifted off of you and me. We can go to others who are given wisdom and knowledge in certain areas (that we may lack wisdom in) and seek counsel from them. But are we ok with becoming vulnerable to someone and admitting that we need their advice? This is where I think many people stop dead in their tracks.  It is contrary to our nature- our sin nature that is- to go to someone and admit we are not enough on our own.

When Jason and I were engaged we had to do premarital counseling. I was so nervous about it because I knew it would uncover a lot of my deep seeded fears I had about my upcoming commitment. I loathed going before the sessions started because I didnt like having to “share” some fears with anyone- even Jason. I remember our last session-I finally opened up and was willing to be vulnerable to Jason and Pastor Greg about all my fears……on the condition they fixed them with me before we left that night.  Pastor Greg looked at me as I SOBBED and said, “if you think you are going to fix all your problems before you are married you are wrong. You all will have to learn to love each other through them and work them out together. Every couple has issues.” I was comforted by that. Then Jason said, “Sweetie, admitting that we dont have it “all-together” is the only way we can make it.” Little did they know how much this impacted me individually as well as in my marriage.

All that to say, transparency to God and others about all you lack in wisdom is the best way to be.  I have been reading a few good books, all I just cannot seem to put down- about parenting in particular. They make me realize the more I read just how little I know about parenting.  It humbles me, and helps me to keep in perspective that God is entrusting me with his dear ones and I should do my best to be a good steward.  Studying, asking for advice and counsel, having no problem admitting I don’t have it all together- these are the least I can do to honor God with the blessing of our children (and my marriage).

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Glass Houses and words

“People in glass houses shouldnt throw stones.” (meaning: you shouldn’t criticize others for faults you posses yourself.)

A good, wise, proverb – started from the scripture (as that is our oldest historical document that contains it), Matthew 7:5 and Luke 6:42.  So why is it so difficult for us to do this, Christians? It takes a true dependence on the HOLY SPIRIT and a whole lot of self discipline to stop before you speak, consider your sin, and then respond to that person/situation.  Non-believers are simply exempt from this as they do not posses the ability to have the self control and Holy Spirit power needed to follow through time after time. They will fail, as we all do, because our humanity will never be enough to keep us out of this kind of trouble.
Knowing that CHRIST-IN-ME is enough power to harness my tongue when I feel so passionate about pointing out someone else’s short falls is so refreshing…and freeing. I dont have the worry and pressure of thinking about what will happen in my relationship with this person after this conversation if I call on the power of Him-in-me to get me through it. Like I said, it’s freeing…freeing because whenever I do apply this golden truth, and stop to consider my sin, its easy for me to not say much else therfore saving me a whole lot of trouble.
I am NOT saying however, that everyone you encounter should get a “free-pass”- but at least its easier to walk away from a situation when that other person is a non-believer knowing that at least you recognize your sin and that its a problem! (Is that awful to say…?)

All this comes on the heels of being a fly on the wall today. Its so easy to see what is REALLY happening when you just sit back and listen/watch rather than participate.  It just made me realize that if we all really did start with the Man in the Mirror as Michael Jackson sang, it really would be a different place. We are so quick to jump on everyone else, and most times we have the SAME issues!

Looking up these verses also made me think of Matthew 5:37 .  I thought of this verse because so often we shoot our mouths off for whatever reason and throw words around as if they do not carry any power. The thing is, words DO carry power, and often times is it not the same amount of power from person to person.
Let me explain that- especially in our crazed tech world where tone of voice is completely lost in
communication (emails, text, fb posts, blog etc.) the amount of power we give to our words may be
misconstrued be the recipient. Therefore, we really do not know the power our words can have
over someone because we do not know the amount of which they award to whatever comes out of our mouth.
Back to the point here- if we all actually meant what we said, and our YES’s were YES’s and NO’s No’s, then I wonder if we would have as much trouble with throwing stones at others…? How would things be different if we actually grasped what our words meant?

How would marriages be different- vows? promises? How would arguments be different- well thought out, not emotional rants? How would it change how you speak to your family/ kids/ spouse?

Just a thought about glass houses and words…

Toddler Time Ideas

I am on the search for great, inexpensive, fun, relatively safe and clean toddler time ideas to do at home. If you have any suggestions please let me know, POST HERE!

With the weather being so MISERABLY hot, its difficult to stay outside for long so some fun creative indoor ideas at home or nearby are always welcomed.

I had someone suggest finger painting with Ana, my 16month old. I immediately gawked at the idea because she would eat the paint, make a mess, and it would be such a headache i think, probably no fun for her because she couldnt eat it….ANYWHOO- found out today that you can use flour, water, and food coloring to make a finger painting paste that works GRRRREAT (and can be edible without being dangerous). YAY! 

ANy more ideas folks?

Busy, busy, busy!

SO, its half way through the week and I have been more busy than I thought I would be! I may be over doing it though, trying not to think about everything. It has been fun though- we figured out skype and have had a fun time at playing at grammys house.  Ana is spoiled rotten, but such a good girl. After my post about the tough day I had with her I received a lot of encouragement and advice and have looked at those tough times differently since. They make me smile (when the are over and I am recalling them) because it is just a glimpse into who she is and what she likes- so I am getting to know her in a way.

Been feeling a bit up and down lately (good days, bad days); it must be that my body is FREAKING OUT cause it chases Ana and grows Alexis all in a days work, ha ha. Oh, and dont forget that it walks Otter and maintains the house (laundry, dishes, dinner, etc).

Jason is doing well- growing out his beard….really shaggy…but well. He got to see the church where his Great Aunt  Mary Pat met the love of her live, Daddy Don and that was wonderful for him. I came home today and pulled out all the old pictures his mom found at her house of the church, his grandpa and great grandpa. There’s a few in there of Mary Pat when she was a young child. Really neat to see- the crib looks like an animal cage though and the tricycle the kids are riding looks like I sautered it together from scrap metal, ha ha. Its so neat to see how things were before there was a “commercial-corporate america”.

I have registered at Babies R Us, (yay) which I didnt do for Ana- so I am actually excited about having another baby shower. At first I felt as if that was a big “no-no” since I had one just a year and half ago, but there are plenty of items that I borrowed and didnt buy, only to give back and not have now. Plus, I learned what was necessary and not, and what I would really like to have to make it easier with this one. I am definitely going to have a smaller scale shower, probably only invite a handful of people and tell them if they cannot make it its ok.  Just because I dont want anyone to feel obligated to buy gifts as we would much rather just celebrate her birth and the blessing of her! If you want to come, I would love to have you- just let me know your mailing address 🙂

I can feel this little one getting bigger- running out of room! She moves quite a bit, but I can tell its getting a little tighter and she is getting stronger. I got an email today from one of those free week-by-week baby calendar things and Monday, July 26th I will be 30 weeks along….wow wee! I am very excited for her to get here so we can meet her in face to face! YAY!

Going to play with the cousins tomorrow- Michael and Maddie and that is ALWAYS fun 🙂 Ana loves them so much, I just know she will love having a sibling to play with as she does them. Also hoping to go to the library with Ana, to get some books for her. Either that or the used book store. I have a few to trade 😉   Until next time, goodnight, I am soooo tired!

HOT

It is soooo HOT out lately. I told the neighbors earlier today that I have never been more ready for fall. I like the mornings- around 8 am- when its still somewhat fresh and cool but warm enough to go outside in your jammies, and the nights that dont get cold ever…so I will miss those. I will enjoy, however, not having change my clothes after walking to the mail box because I am so full of sweat. AND I certainly will NOT miss feeling like you can’t breathe in the car when you first open the door. Its so warm and has been for such a while that I am curious to know when fall or winter will actually start and if this “warm-wave” will just keep going until October. I HOPE NOT.

The other day with Ana ended up finishing up well. She slept 3 hours and was happy slappy for most of the rest of the day. She still went to bed a little early, and was definitely overly needy prior to that but for such a long morning I was impressed with how she came through the latter half of the day.
I appreciated all the comments, encouragement, and suggestions so many made to me after that blog post. I actually got 3 phone calls, a fun visit from a bestie friend, and a bunch of comments. THanks thanks thanks!

Happy Pill

I put on my facebook status today that “I need a happy pill, or something.” And boy do I. I am not in a bad bad mood like hating the world or anything, but I can feel my nerves are pushed to the brink. Ana seems to be pushed to the brink today too, and I think that is why I am. I slept great, woke up fine- Ana was happy and Jason got up quickly and offered for me to shower first…see, no reason to be “tense”….but around 930am Ana started to have one frustrated moment after another, and all the while wanting mommy to fix it. I couldnt do anything right either, but with each attempt I was getting more and more short tempered. I am always careful to be aware of my feelings because I know that they will sway Ana’s to go one way or another, and when I need to I will go outside for a minute and let us both breathe. Ha- we usually both go together and take a break. Its nice 🙂 Today has been different though. I really cant tell if its terrible two previews or if its the new found independence from walking, but I am praying it is nerves from the molars that come at age two (please Lord, heal her nerves!). Anyway I am just trying to take her to do things that she enjoys, but it would be really nice if I could think of some creative things good for her age that we could do here at the house. Any suggestions?

Jason is in a weird mood today too- we went and saw him at work and I could tell something was up. He said he is just in a weird one…maybe him and Ana planned this…lol. Or maybe its that male pms that comes every few months or so. HA HA.

My deep down fear is that I will be this short tempered mom because I am overly exhausted and overwhelmed, and will therefore take it out on my kids unintentionally. In this case, more Ana because she will be a little older. I just dont see how I can keep it together with two babies screaming especially is one is simply wanting her way. A million moms have made it through, and I will too. The Lord will give grace as needed too- not a moment before, so I remind myself of these things time and time again. I just want so badly to NOT be a grump, even when I am tried, overwhelmed, or pushed to the end of my nerves.  So obviously, I am annoyed that I feel that I need a happy pill today. ha ha. It is only 1pm though, so I am sure it will clear up.

WipeOUT, Twos, world cup

So I love watching the show wipeout! ha- I feel silly when I first begin to watch it, but then I horse-laugh at someone getting SMACKED by something when they talked all kinds of SMACK about winning prior to starting the triathlon. Really- if ever you are feeling down, alone, bored, happy, excited, ANYTHING- watch WIPEOUT and you won’t regret it! ha ha..

Caleb Mayfield aka Breyers, visited the last couple days and it was nice to see the fella. I have to say he is growing up! I just know he will land him a sweet lady friend soon- he’s a keeper gals, and will love you like crazy! Just make sure you love Jesus more 🙂  Jason enjoys seeing his buddy I know- they are virtually married whenever he visits…its funny to watch. Ha.

I believe I am getting glimpses of the “terrible two” season with Ana, although I dont like calling it that. It is not a terrible age, just a more challenging one for parents. Every year is a blessing, even the two’s. Anyway, yes I can see in Ana times when she screams for her way or when she dislikes something…it scares me a bit! I am not too worried though, as it is just a time for learning – for BOTH of us. We will get it too!

I enjoyed watching the FIFA World Cup this year. It was nostalgic for Jason and I since the last world cup was on our honeymoon. Spain finally got a trophy to take home after always doing well to advance. France made fools of themselves and Germany should have won. Shame, but so should the USA when they played Ghana. Although it is sad to not have ESPN on ALL THE TIME, I will NOT miss the vuvuzelas.

Thats all for now. I am liking this blogging thing. I am still new to it all- not sure how to put up pictures, do links, tag people places and things, but hopefully I will be able to figure it out soon and be a pro. The Alich family blog is what I aspire to!

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